...is what I do at the bank after customers have left the building. It's a tracker to see my sales results. I feel like it may be productive to post one here, but instead of the typical categories, like amount of checking accounts and credit cards, I thought of some more....interesting... and fun categories.
Number of DUMB customers:
DUMB customer stands for "Definitely an Utterly Moronic Banking" Customer. I'm not talking about your typical left-my-card-at-the-ATM, or walk-into-the-bank-without-ID, I'm talking about the "I saw my account was negative online, but I kept using my card because you guys kept letting the charges go through and I thought it was OK."
Number of times I lied to get a customer out of my office:
"I'm sorry, I can't refund your overdraft fees, but maybe if you call Customer Solutions, they may be able to do something for you. Yes, I'm sure my manager can't help you."
PS This is a favorite tactic for the Customer Service people to use to get people off of the phone also.
Number of times I went out of my way to help a customer because he/she was nice:
Self explanatory.
Number of times I went out of my way to help a customer because she was hot:
Also self explanatory. Happens less often than you'd think, mainly because a lot of hot girls are also snotty, and those cancel each other out.
Number of times I told a customer for one reason or another to go to a different bank:
These range from "Sorry, you can't cash a Citizen's Bank check here if you don't have an account" to "You're an asshole, and I hope you do take your $8205943 and get the hell out of my face."
Number of times a customer just walked into my office while I was with another customer:
I will also include a rudeness scale in this category.
Number of times I did something spiteful to a customer and didn't get caught:
Sometimes, you just gotta let it out. Keeping your money on hold for an extra long time is a favorite of mine.
If you have any other catergories you'd like to see, just let me know!
Full moon sadness
10 years ago
